“A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.” -Tenneva Jordan
This Sunday, approximately 9.2 million Canadian mothers will receive gifts of flowers, chocolate and dinner in honour of Mother’s Day. And while we know every one of those moms is different, most share strikingly similar qualities – such as the propensity for licking their fingers and wiping dirt off your face like they did in pre-Kleenex civilizations.
In our experience, we’ve found that most mothers fall into one of seven categories. Of course, many overlap, and some may well be a classification unto themselves. Read on to find out where you/your mom fits in our Zoomer Mother’s Day TV Mom Scale.
By Mike Crisolago
Mom: Marge Simpson
Television Show: The Simpsons
Marge: How come they never call me fun mom?
Homer: A family’s like a team. On every team, you have the slam-dunking mega star and the referee.
You May Be Her If – you’re married to a buffoon and gave birth to a devil-child and still find reasons not to run away. Understanding moms like Marge see beyond the inevitable dysfunctions every family experiences and love their partner and children unconditionally – even when they’re inclined to hop up from the dinner table and growl like wild dogs over the last pork chop.
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