How to Cope with 3 Common Caregiver Frustrations
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Caring for your parents or another loved one can offer rewards beyond what you might imagine. But that doesn’t mean your caregiving life remains free from frustrations that can range from large to small. You may at times find yourself feeling irritated with your loved one or resentful of family members who refuse to help you. If you have these feelings, you’re not alone.
The following quotes are from real family caregivers in the Alzheimer’s community. Hear what they have to say about their caregiving frustrations, and try some of the suggested solutions.
UNHELPFUL FAMILY MEMBERS
“I have 2 siblings who live in the area and two out of province. My mother has lived with me going on 3 years. Not once has either local sibling offered to take mom out, take her to supper, or take her for the weekend. They begrudgingly take her when I ask months in advance.”
“I have three other siblings that do not care to help with her care. I work full time and have a daughter graduating high school this year. I try to show my daughter patience and care in taking care of mom but it isn’t easy.”
Solutions to try:
- Tips to help you deal with family conflict caused by Alzheimer’s
- Checklist for sibling family caregivers
- Get free resources from the 50/50 Rule®: Solving Family Conflict program
FREQUENT CRYING AND MOOD CHANGES
“My mom has been at my house for 3 weeks now and at times has forgotten who I was and she cries most of the day. How do I cope with the daily changing of her personality without losing my mind?”
“Mom has also been crying a lot at night lately. She says she misses her mother and a baby she lost (at 3 months old) back in the 60s. I don’t know how to handle her when this happens. Mom cried for 40 minutes the other night.”
Solutions to try:
- Tips to help calm someone with Alzheimer’s when they’re crying
- Pointers for caregivers noticing mood changes
HOW DO I GET MOM TO SHOWER?
“I have the challenge of getting my mom to shower. She is wheelchair bound but can transfer to a chair we have in the shower. She wants only sponge baths, and it is the topic of disagreement often. She has some minor dementia. Help!”
“What do I find most frustrating? So many situations to choose from…let’s see. I think it is the showering/bathing. She gives us lip service EVERY TIME!!! She says, ‘I’m not dirty,’ ‘I just did this today,’ or ‘I know what u r up to?’ And she wants to wear her depends and slippers in. It is such a struggle.”
Solutions to try:
- 5 tips to get more cooperation during bath time
- Advice for caregivers on what to do when your loved one refuses to bathe
For more tips and solutions to manage frustrating Alzheimer’s care situations, download the Alzheimer’s and Other Dementias Daily Companion app or visit the online Dementia Support Network, a resource from Home Instead Senior Care.