4) Never diss your ex in front of them: "Do not make disparaging comments about the other parent," Gwen cautions. "It reflects more negatively on you than the object of your comments. It also creates stress for the kids who love both their parents. Your issues with your ex are your issues. Don't make them issues for your adult child."
5) Ice any residual issues: "If there is any animosity between you and your ex, put it aside on graduation day or the wedding day or whatever. All children, and especially adult children, are very tuned-in to the tensions between their parents," points out Gwen. "Yes, you are divorced parents but you are still Mom and Dad. So come together in celebration even if you had an acrimonious divorce – for the sake of your children for one day."
Sure, this is all easier said than done, but Gwen knows it is possible. "But it does require a great deal of maturity and transcending the ego."
And if she could only offer a single piece of advice?
"Keep your feelings and frustrations to yourself. Don't verbalize them. Just focus on enjoying the time that you do have. Act as though it's going to be your last event together. You'd spend in a very loving way, wouldn't you?"
Note: Gwen offers a variety of resource materials through her website dealing with such issues as relieving stress and improving relationships.
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