A favourite line from a girlfriend who went for decades – by choice – without engaging in relations went something like: "They sealed me shut with Polyfilla sometime around the turn of the century."

Let's just go straight to where the rubber hits the pay dirt. After a dry spell, we start to throw up both emotional and physical roadblocks to intimacy. Getting jiggy with someone new is never easy, even for 22-year-old Victoria's Secret models (and yes, I have actually posed that question of a real live goddess of underwear, thanks for asking). We all harbour fears of how we will be received. Are we too lumpy and banged up? The best pep talk I can offer is a YouTube-sized fix of a starkers Diane Keaton dropping Jack Nicholson's jaw in Something's Gotta Give (literally Google pages-worth of fans have posted that golden snippet): naked at 57 at the time, she shows wit and confidence and she banishes the clichés and that is what is sexy. Because, hey, rippled abs won't warm the cockles of your brain: we all know that that is where sex really takes place, squarely between your ears.

Copyright 2018 ZoomerMedia Limited

Page 1 of 3123