5 Ways To Reconnect With Your Partner


Think working on your relationship is only for couples on the verge of a split? Think again. Practicing exercises like these can help you check in on your relationship, rediscover intimacy, and rekindle the physical connection with your partner.

1. Why I Love You

Make a “Why I Love You” list of all the things you appreciate about your partner. It could be physical qualities (the light in their eyes, their sexy butt, or their bright smile), the sweet things they do for you, or aspects of their personality that attract you. This exercise helps to boost your confidence and remind you why you fell in love.

2. Listen Up

Being a good communicator means being a good listener too. Set up a timer and take turns letting the other talk—totally uninterrupted. Make sure to turn off distractions, especially your phones. Pay close attention to what your partner is saying and see what you learn. Then you get a turn to talk about what you want.

3. Create Goals Together

Write down five to ten personal goals you’d like to complete. Compare your goals list with your partner’s list. You may be surprised by what’s important and what’s missing in your lives. Then give your partnership some direction by making a couple’s goals list. Think of all the things you’d like to do together—where you’d like to travel, a home project you want to complete, a class you’d enjoy, or a party you’d like to host.

4. Get Back to the Bedroom Basics

If you’re having a hard time making sex spontaneous, try booking a date to be intimate. Knowing ahead of time will build up anticipation like the early days of your relationship. Rekindle the flame by experimenting with touching and foreplay. Whether the moment is spontaneous or not, a quality personal lubricant is a must-have for bringing back that natural feeling of excitement. That’s because many women experience vaginal dryness during and after menopause, which can make sex uncomfortable.1 2 To help jump-start intimacy, try K-Y SENSUAL SILK®. It has a luxuriously light formula that helps ease dryness and feels irresistibly soft and sexy on your skin.

5. Talk with a Pro

Need help breaking free from old patterns or letting go of anger?3 Talking with a trained professional could help. Couples therapy is a way of resolving problems and conflicts that couples haven’t been able to handle on their own. Both of you discuss your thoughts and feelings with the goal of gaining a better understanding of yourself and your partner, to decide if you need and want to make changes, and if so, to help you to do so.

The North American Menopause Society (NAMS), “Changes in the Vagina and Vulva,” http://www.menopause.org/for-women/sexual-health-menopause-online/changes-at-midlife/changes-in-the-vagina-and-vulva
2 The North American Menopause Society (NAMS), “Pain with Penetration,” http://www.menopause.org/for-women/sexual-health-menopause-online/sexual-problems-at-midlife/pain-with-penetration
3 Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association (CCPA), “Helping You With…Relationship” http://www.talkingcanhelp.ca/en/helping-you-with/a-z-list/
4 Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH), “Couple Therapy,” http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/health_information/a_z_mental_health_and_addiction_information/couple_therapy/Pages/couple_therapy.aspx