Tips to Turn It On When the Well’s Run Dry
Looking to spice things up in the bedroom? Long-term relationships can get stale under the sheets, and menopause can be a contributing factor. This is what you need to know to help reignite the fire and regain intimacy with your partner.
Why the Diminished Desire?
If you’re feeling like you’re not in the mood lately, you’re not alone. Sex drive generally decreases with age in both men and women.1 But for us ladies, we are two to three times more likely to be affected by a decline in sex drive as we age.2
Menopause can affect both your sex drive and your motivation to being sexual—your willingness to be sexual at a given time with a particular partner.3 Things like vaginal dryness, hot flashes, night sweats, and the decrease in testosterone may contribute to the drop in desire.4 Your libido can also be affected by medication, illness, cultural issues, depression, trauma, stress, anxiety, anger, or conflict with your partner.5 6 7
Many women experience mood swings during perimenopause, from happy highs to teary lows.8 Yet one of our body parts is less sensitive than in earlier years: the clitoris (the key centre of sexual pleasure for most women).9 Ugh.
What To Do
If your libido is low, these ideas may help whip up some passion. After all, sexually active couples tend to be happier than couples who aren’t sexually active.10
1. Get Romantic
For many of us, physical intimacy starts with feeling emotionally connected to our partner. Good communication, showing affection, listening, and laughing together is important to stay close.11 Romantic gestures show your partner you still care and are making your relationship a priority. When was the last time you went out on a date, left a love note, made breakfast in bed, or dressed up in a sexy outfit? Give your partner a candlelit sensual massage before sex. Some personal lubricants can double as a massage oil, making it pleasurable and exciting for all your body parts. Remember that sex should be playful and an expression of love—just like when you first met.12 Add K-Y® SILK-E® to the romance. It’s exclusively designed to enhance intimacy and have a natural feel.
2. Squeeze and Release
If you feel close to an orgasm, you can sometimes trigger one by tightening and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles.13 Give it a go next time you’re nearing climax with your partner.
3. Let Your Imagination Run Wild
Having sexual thoughts and fantasies are part of your sex drive.14 If you have trouble concentrating during sex, fantasizing may excite you.15 Counteract boredom in the bedroom with role-playing, erotic movies, or saucy reads.
4. Take a Class
It’s never too late to learn more about sex. There are lessons and workshops about lots of arousing stuff—intimacy, tantric sex, oral sex, anal sex, and masturbation. Have some giggles with a friend and try burlesque dancing, belly dancing, erotic chair dancing, or pole dancing.
5. Experiment with Lubricants
Declining levels of estrogen can lead to vagina dryness, which can make intercourse uncomfortable.16 17 But dryness is no reason for you and your partner to lose closeness. Now is the perfect time to experiment with personal lubricants. Purchase a few, play around, and see which one you and your partner like best—your slick picks. K-Y has a range of intimacy products that help ease dryness and discomfort, and some products have a natural feel during sex. K-Y is the brand most trusted by couples and the #1 brand recommended by doctors.18 So you can have fun rediscovering each other—regularly.