Useful Guide for Blue Jays’ Bandwagon Fans

If you’re one of the many Canadians who’s caught Toronto Blue Jays fever just in time for their postseason run, you may want to disguise the fact that you’re one of those bandwagon fans. The next time you’re watching a game with a bunch of irritating baseball know-it-alls, here’s a handy guide to fooling them into thinking you know what you’re talking about.

When the camera is focussing on the following Blue Jays, here’s what you should and should not say.

David Price

  • Don’t say: “The Price is right!”
  • Instead: “What’s wrong with Price in the postseason?”

Jose Bautista

  • Don’t say: “He’s scary when he’s angry.”
  • Instead: “He’s scary with runners in scoring position.”

Troy Tulowitzki

  • Don’t say: “He’s hot!”
  • Instead: “If Tulo’s bat gets hot, look out.”

Josh Donaldson

  • Don’t say: “Wait, is Kelly Gruber still playing third?”
  • Instead: “MVP! MVP!”

Edwin Encarnacion

  • Don’t say: “Did he hurt his arm on that homerun?”
  • Instead: “Are you tired of Edwin’s ‘Walking the Parrot’ home-run trot yet?”

Ben Revere

  • Don’t say: “Uhhh … never heard of this guy.”
  • Instead: “This guy is one of the most underrated players in baseball.”

Kevin Pillar

  • Don’t say: “Why does he wear his socks so high?”
  • Instead: “Love the old-school baseball look.”

Russell Martin

  • Don’t say: “He’s the back-catcher, eh?”
  • Instead: “He’s the best Canadian-born catcher, eh?”

Ryan Goins

  • Don’t say: “He’s a terrible hitter.”
  • Instead: “He contributes with his glove.”

Manager John Gibbons

  • Don’t say: “What the hell is he saying?”
  • Instead: “What the hell is he doing?”