Joke of the day for October 20

1. Don’t tell anyone we can’t afford a new car. Tell them we don’t want one.

2. Please don’t drive when you’re not driving.

3. When the waiter asks if everything’s okay, a simple ‘Yes’ is fine.

4. What do you mean, “leering?” She’s obstructing my view.

5. When I’m turning the wheel and the car is heading for the slip road, saying, ‘Oh, this is our exit, dearest,’ is not really necessary.

6. When you’re not around, I belch so loudly that I even appal myself.

7. “Sports Report” starts at 5pm on a Saturday and runs for one hour. This is an excellent time for you to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer, or talk to your mother.

8. If we see each other in the morning and at night, why phone me at work?

9. You probably don’t want to know what I’m thinking about.

10. Never buy a “new” brand of beer because ‘it was on sale.’

Source: Will and Guy’s Jokes

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