Today’s Joke: Jan. 12
How old are you?
The biggest disadvantage of old age is that you can’t outgrow it.
She’s getting crows feet around her eyes. And I’ll tell you, that crow has big feet!
You know you’re past your prime when every time you suck in your gut, your ankles swell.
I don’t like to do things now that I did 20 years ago — like look in the mirror.
I’m middle-age, middle-class, and middle-of-the-road. I feel like that white stuff in the middle of an Oreo.
Heck, I don’t feel a day older than I did a hundred years ago.
Sometimes I feel old enough to be my own father.
You know you’re past your prime when you start getting air-guitar elbow.
Age always corresponds inversely to the size of your multi-vitamin.
My neighbors have been married for 60 years. They look like identical twins. One of them wears a dress. I don’t know which one.