Today’s Joke: Mar. 17
Photo ©iStockphoto.com/ Studio-Annika
St. Patrick’s Day Limericks
A lass, one beautiful morn,
Fell in love with a male unicorn,
She purchased a spell,
Recited it well,
Now she’s with him with hooves, tail, and horn.
There once was a young man named Sean,
Whose wish came from a sly leprechaun,
To be surrounded by dough,
Was what he wanted, so,
In six months he was born as a fawn.
A man, while drinking Light Bud,
Crashed his car with a sickening thud,
The car that he hit,
Had a warlock in it,
now he lives as a frog in the mud.
Three boys broke into the old house,
Whose owner had left to carouse,
When they found the spell book,
They just had to look,
And left the house dog, goat, and grouse.
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who was poaching fish near Pawtucket,
He found himself wishing,
to spend his life fishing,
And wound up in his minnow bucket.
A man, while drinking green beer,
Felt a tail push out of his rear,
The changes weren’t done,
As he started to run,
And went into the woods as a deer.
There once was an explorer named Stan,
Who explored caves in deep Pakistan,
In one was a ring,
A change it did bring,
And off as a tiger he ran.
He carefully recited the verse,
To halt his dread werewolf curse,
He didn’t do well,
As you plainly can tell,
For now his curse works in reverse.
There is a small store at the mall,
Far down a little used hall,
If your life needs a change,
You might find it strange,
Spells R Us will answer the call.
A tinbender, while busy at work,
Was bored, though it wasn’t a quirk,
On a tedious day,
The mind starts to play,
So he made limericks with a smirk.
There once was a disgruntled pedestrian
who’s amulet turned out to be Circean,
he wished for a horse,
his translation was coarse,
as a centaur he was quite the equestrian
There once was a young man named Kent,
Whose postings were maleficent.
He claimed he was bright,
but he soon saw the light,
as a lamp he became incandescent.
Jeanie grew tired of the glare
her husband’s head totally bare
‘though he still walks on two
the wish that she blew
made her Jeanie with the light brown hare.
There once was a man from Nantucket
who made a wish on a charmed locket
His wish soon became true
as new developments grew
and he became a young lass from Nantucket.
There once was a swift fox named Magus,
who developed a craving for haggis,
so he chased DanielSan
who deftly ran
and the resulting mayhem was contagious.
All he wanted was simply a drink,
but when he was handed a Frink,
he turned into a lemur
and became quite a schemer
the chandelier became his place to think.
Deer, rats, rabbits, and moose.
Cheetahs, wolves, tigers, and goose.
‘Round the channel he stared,
the visitor got scared
and decided it best to vamoose.
“Oh no! Not Actaeon’s curse”
He scoffed at the strange woman’s verse
the poacher’s laugh stopped
as on all fours he dropped
and in cervidom his form did immerse
A lass named Abigail Nixon
messed up on the spell she was mixin’
Her faux pas ruined the brew
and fox paws she grew
as she quickly changed into a vixen
A witch’s apprentice named Mabel
whined ’bout no milk for the table
she heard the witch mutter
grew tail, hooves, and udder
and she produced much milk from the stable
That’s it! I have no more to say,
enough of this silly wordplay,
My name is Tinbender
that’s all I can render,
until next St. Patrick’s Day!