Today’s Joke: May 4

Great Golf One-liners:

Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture: Winston Churchill

It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course: Babe Ruth

Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course: Lee Trevino

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow: Sam Snead

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball: Jack Lemmon

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron: Lee Trevino

The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music: Anon

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose: Gerald Ford

After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back 10 minutes later with a ham on rye: Chi Chi Rodriguez

Source: Will and Guy’s Jokes