ASK COLETTE: When Fear Takes Over

Here, Zoomer guru Colette Baron-Reid on pushing past fear and embracing new opportunities.

Dear Colette,

My life hasn’t turned out quite the way I’d hoped. My last temporary contract job just ended, my rent went up too high for me to stay, and now I will be moving two hours away to live with my elderly mother who needs my help.

I am overwhelmed not only by the process of moving but because I will be leaving friends I love and a life I’ve been used to. I suffer from depression and anxiety and it doesn’t help while trying to arrange to move, sell items etc. I am also unable to find any joy in life. My main concern is dealing with loneliness, meeting new people and I haven’t had a relationship in a long time and that makes me sad as well.  

I think I am letting fear take over. What do I do? – Stuck in Fear


Dear Stuck in Fear,

I would agree that you are letting fear take over.  It’s important that you stay in today and trust in you.  Slow your life down and stay in the moment – stay in the day.  Make lists for yourself to keep your days structured and productive.  One step at a time – small steps that can be accomplished and give you a sense of purpose and accomplishment.

Anyone who picks up their life to go take care of someone else will likely experience anxiety and stress.  Remember the old adage that the two most stressful times in our lives are moving and divorce.  I’d add to that list taking care of someone else in the later years of life or from an illness.  It is perfectly natural that you are feeling low, but make it a temporary condition, not a permanent state of being.

It’s important that you develop a level of self-care that up to this point you may not have done. Besides taking omega-3 supplements that can help with depression and eating cleanly (no sugar, less gluten, organic, cruel-free meats, etc.), here are some great mental and emotional strategies.

— When you are really stressed try the beginning of my IN-Vizion® Process.  Start by asking yourself the question, “Where am I right now?”  You are really asking, “What state of mind am I in and how could I describe that using a physical place?”

The method I teach is to describe your state of mind using landscape archetypes.  For example, a house is a landscape archetype, so you might be in an abandoned house or a factory.  If you are feeling obsessed or overwhelmed you are in a swamp.  If you are peaceful you might say you are sitting beside a calm glassy lake or a placid lake.  By describing our emotional state in environmental terms, we have a completely different and interesting metaphoric landscape through which to see ourselves.

One of the advantages of this technique is it reminds us that our landscape is temporary.  When we think of where we are as a state of mind we think it’s forever.  An emotion feels like forever because it is, but once you become an observer of a place, you are no longer tied to that place.  Because you can leave a place, it’s so much easier to see yourself as a traveller through many destinations and places.  There’s always an escape and there’s always another place to visit, and you can realize you have been to other places before.

— It’s okay to fake loving yourself right now.  For instance, when we can rehearse an experience that we would like to have over and over again in a repetitive way, it actually helps change the neural pathways and neural networks in the brain.  Keep seeing what you it is you want for yourself and your brain will follow your lead.

— Lastly, I would highly suggest you read the book called Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza.

We all have the ability to make our lives positive and inspiring.  I am wishing the same for you for this next chapter.

Love and blessings,
Colette Baron-Reid
Intuitive Counselor

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