ASK COLETTE: Can Sexuality and Spirituality Co-Exist?

Here, Zoomer guru Colette Baron-Reid on the connection between the sexual and the spiritual.


Dear Colette,

The other day I was having a glass of wine with two girlfriends and we were talking about sex and as the conversation went on I said that I had heard watching an erotic movie with your partner can be good for the relationship.  We talked about how interesting that experience would be and yet a couple of days later I questioned my spirituality surrounding sex and pleasure.

Can you be spiritual and watch erotic movies? What does Spirit says about this?

I’m really questioning how, we as spiritual beings deal with our sexual energy—sexual pleasure, masturbation, and eroticism, etc.? What are your thoughts? – Sexy and Spiritual


Dear Sexy and Spiritual,

Being spiritual does not mean that you should divert yourself from your human experience. You are a spiritual being having a human experience, not a human trying to be spiritual and denying your human experience. Eroticism, self-pleasuring, and self-care are very, very personal. It’s something that each individual has to decide how they want to express it.

Spirituality does not mean to release yourself from your desires. It means that there is a healthy way of going about it. If you have a desire it doesn’t mean that you are any less spiritual and you should not feel the need to make your life devoid of joy and pleasure.

Unless you are a member of a particular dogma, spirituality doesn’t mean self-sacrifice.  For instance, in Christianity, nuns and priest practice celibacy as a means to commit their entire beings to Jesus.  But different religions have their individual beliefs that are not intended to be cast on all of their followers.  In other pagan sects the sex act is revered as something beautiful and joyous, even celebratory.  They even had festival and rituals of fertility.

But don’t mistake religion for spirituality.  Sex can be seen as divine co-creation and bringing two lives together as one. It is the meeting of body and soul with another’s body and soul.  When you think about it, the universe as we know it is a result of sexual energy—all life-form’s continued existence is a result of the connection of the flesh. There are also Eastern philosophies that believe sex can be used as a means to reach the divine.  And what can be said about Kama Sutra?  It’s not merely about sexual positions it is about connection to the sexual energy and intimacy of your partner.

Remember that in honoring your spirituality you engage in practices of self-care and generosity towards others.  You are in service to others as a means of connection to the Divine.  This also applies to your intimate relationships.  By engaging in pleasure and joy with your partner and being generous with your partner, you are connected to your spiritual being, not just your human experience.

I hope this helps you connect with your sexual energy as both a spiritual and human being.

Love and blessings,
Colette Baron-Reid
Intuitive Counselor

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