ASK COLETTE: “Her Husband Believes in the Santa Claus Version of God”

Here, Boomer Intuitive Coach Colette Baron-Reid on when spouses disagree on God and spirituality.


Dear Colette,

I saw you on the Zoomer TV show called Angels and the Afterlife.  I really enjoyed it.  I am married to a man who has become more and more certain that there is no God, heaven or the afterlife.  He’s had a lot of hardship and believes if there was a God, none of it would have happened. He is miserable all of the time.  I am a believer and it’s really difficult for me because I feel I have to hide my spirituality from him.  Do you have any advice on how to handle this? – I’m a Believer


Dear I’m a Believer,

How fabulous that you watched Angels and Afterlife —thank you! It was soooo much fun and although a lot of the really lively stuff was edited out, it was still a blast!

Now let’s get to your question. It sounds like your husband feels somehow, as do many people, “entitled” to not suffer or that somehow if God exists he would never personally experience hardship.  That’s just not the case.  But I DO agree with your husband on one thing…

If he’s saying there’s no deity that grants wishes like Santa Claus, then we’re on the same page. What he is really denying is the Santa Claus version of God.

His negativity has him believing there is no hope. If there’s no hope, then why be happy? My personal viewpoint is that the quality of our life is more important than whether or not there is an afterlife or a heaven or hell.

So why are YOU hiding your spirituality from him? Just because he doesn’t believe doesn’t make you “wrong.” What you both have in common is the golden rule – do unto others.  That’s a common denominator for the two of you.  Knowing that, my suggestion is Girl—Live your life! If we are all “entitled” to anything, it’s the ability to be our most authentic selves—so YOU be you!  But if being spiritual with a non-believer is too much of a strain on your relationship, find someone who can love you for who you are and set yourself free.

As an intuitive and as an Oracle I have, and you have seen me do it, connected to people on the other side. But in the 24 years I’ve been doing this professionally I’ve never had anybody from the other side speak to me about heaven or the afterlife.  All they care about is that the person they left behind lives a good life—a life free of resentment and anger and has forgiveness in their heart.  They want their loved ones to live a life that’s not wasted on conjecture and theory that you can’t prove until it happens anyway.

I believe the more important question is how can I live my life today? Can you love your husband and let him be who he is? And YOU live your spirituality with grace and ease knowing it doesn’t matter what he believes.

It sounds like he is resentful or believes he is entitled to a better life rather than creating one for himself.  This is not a problem for you to “fix.”  Instead, continue on your spiritual path. Continue seeing the positive aspects of living a quality life.  Consistently acknowledge what’s great about your life as an individual, as well as what’s great about him and your life together.  If wouldn’t hurt for him to hear your gratitude list everyday, with or without “giving credit” to a concept he doesn’t recognized.

May you see through the eyes of blessings,

Colette Baron-Reid

“The Oracle” — intuition-insight-influence —

If you have a question you would like to ask Colette, write to her at [email protected]All published questions and answers will be anonymous – we honor and protect your privacy. (Please, Colette respectfully asks that you do not request a reading as the anticipated response to your question.)