ASK COLETTE: “She Loves Him, He Hates Her Pets”
What if your new love doesn’t love your pets – and even asks you to get rid of them? Here, Boomer Intuitive Coach Colette Baron-Reid weighs in.
I will start by saying I am not a crazy cat lady. I am blessed with a large home and when fate puts a needy cat in my path, I do what I can to help. I used to have six cats and have since found loving homes for two of them. Of the remaining four cats, two are disabled – a 10-year-old with a lame leg but great quality of life and an 8-year-old blind love-bug. The other two are younger and healthy and all four love playing together.
A few months ago I met “Greg” online and we hit it off right away. The only issue is my cats. He doesn’t understand my love for my pets and has gone as far as to say he hates cats, all cats. He told me if I want to be with him, I have to give up the cats, even suggesting that I put the older, disabled two to sleep.
I am torn. I have not dated in nine long years and Greg is the first really nice man who has made me want to be in love again. How do I make this work? I don’t think I can give up my cats. -Relationship Isn’t PURRfect.
Dear Relationship Isn’t PURRfect,
My last questions are solely about you. What attracted you to Greg? (Again it’s not about Greg, it’s about you.) Was he filling a need to be validated? If you knew early on that he didn’t like cats, why did you keep seeing him? Were you convinced you could change him? Were you afraid to be alone again? Did you think he was your one and only shot at love? Consider your own self-worth.
Make a list of your ideal partner in life and define your deal-breakers. Make sure that list addresses your values and principles. This list is not about what Greg does and does not bring to the relationship, this is a list that will bring you to your next mutually-respectful and loving relationship. Don’t you deserve that?
Plain and simple – dump him, keep the cats!
Love always and forever,