Justin Trudeau Turns 51 on Christmas: 5 Gifts That the Prime Minister Would Love

Christmas Day is also Justin Trudeau’s birthday. It’s been a challenging year for our 51-year-old prime minister, with Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre blaming him for everything from runaway inflation to overwhelmed hospitals, Chinese spies influencing our elections, trucker convoys paralyzing Ottawa and endless delays at passport offices.

In the spirit of the season, we’ve chosen five birthday gifts for our harried leader that should help take some of the sting out of 2023.

 

Gorilla Glue

 

In February, Trudeau and NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh forged a political alliance that all but ensured the Liberal minority government will remain in power until 2025. But with his former political pal giving Trudeau grief over his mishandling of health-care funding, the relationship is showing signs of splintering. An all-weather bonding agent like Gorilla Glue should help keep this political partnership together.

 

Trucker Hat

 

Although Trudeau used to say very nice things about truckers, his goodwill toward the big riggers went rapidly downhill when the Freedom Convoy rolled into Ottawa last January. By wearing a hat like this one in public, the PM could signal to his erstwhile trucking buddies that he’s hoping a little thing like invoking the Emergencies Act will not come between them.

 

Gift Certificate for Healthy Planet

 

 

With this thoughtful gift, Trudeau can stock up on brain-boosting supplements to help him avoid periodic memory loss, like forgetting the name of a world leader. Also useful for when he’s testifying at a public hearing to help him recall whether or not he called people names.

 

A Crash-Course on China

 

If there’s one country that continually has Trudeau’s diplomatic number, it’s China. At this year’s G20 in Indonesia, Chinese President Xi Jinping dressed down the PM for leaking documents to the media. That’s on top of reports that China is not only spying on our country but also possibly interfering with our elections, not to mention the unjust hostage-taking of the “Two Michaels.” We recommend The World According to China, which reveals China’s plans to “reshape the geostrategic landscape” — knowledge Trudeau can hopefully use down the road to restore diplomatic balance and avoid repeatedly getting played by the Asian superpower.

 

Talking Tribute Portrait Doll

For just $129.99 you can give the prime minister who has everything a tribute doll — of himself. The Bradford Exchange, purveyors of fine, limited-edition collectibles, offer this “exceptionally handcrafted” model of Trudeau. It looks and dresses just like Trudeau and when you press a button, it spouts “inspirational words” from his 2015 election night acceptance speech. A doll like this would provide the perfect remedy for those cold winter nights in Ottawa — all the PM has to do is hit  play and he’ll be transported back to those old happier, sunnier days.

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