Is Your Sexual Fantasy Normal?

Deviant sex is dominating the news this week and now a new Canadian study published today reveals which sexual fantasies are common and normal and which are pathological.

“What is an unusual sexual fantasy?” is the question researchers at institutes affiliated with the University of Montreal explored.

The prestigious Journal of Sexual Medicine published the answer today.

Hoping for sex with two women is common for men but fantasizing about “golden showers” is not, they found.

“Clinically, we know what pathological sexual fantasies are: they involve non-consenting partners, they induce pain, or they are absolutely necessary in deriving satisfaction. But apart from that, what exactly are abnormal or atypical fantasies? To find out, we asked people in the general population, as simple as that,” said Christian

Joyal, lead author of the study. “Our main objective was to specify norms in sexual fantasies, an essential step in defining pathologies,” he noted. “And as we suspected, there are a lot more common fantasies than atypical fantasies.”

Since the majority of studies on sexual fantasies are conducted with university students, this study required finding a sample of adults willing to describe their sexual fantasies. As a result, 1,517 Quebec adults (799 men and 718 women; mean age 30 years) responded to a questionnaire describing their sexual fantasies, as well as describing their favourite fantasy in detail.

Results showed that the nature of sexual fantasies are varied among the general population. Few fantasies can be considered statistically rare, unusual, or typical (see glossary at the end of this story).

However, not surprisingly, the study confirms that men have more fantasies and describe them more vividly than women. The study also tells us that a significant proportion of women (30 per cent to 60 per cent) evoke themes associated with submission (e.g., being tied up, spanked, forced to have sex).

Importantly, unlike men, women in general clearly distinguish between fantasy and desire. Thus, many women who express more extreme fantasies of submission (e.g. domination by a stranger) specify that they never want these fantasies to come true. The majority of men, however, would love their fantasies to come true (e.g. threesomes).

As expected, the presence of one’s significant other is considerably stronger in female fantasies than in male fantasies. In general, men in couples fantasize much more about extramarital relationships compared to women.

One of the most intriguing findings has to do with the significant number of unique male fantasies, for example, regarding ‘shemales’, anal sex among heterosexuals, and the idea of watching their partner have sex with another man. Evolutionary biological theories cannot explain these fantasies, which, among males, are typically desires.

“Overall, these findings allow us to shed light on certain social phenomena, such as the popularity of the book Fifty Shades of Grey with women,” Joyal said. “The subject is fascinating. We are currently conducting statistical analyses with the same data to demonstrate the existence of homogeneous subgroups of individuals based on combinations of fantasies. For example, people who have submission fantasies also often report domination fantasies. These two themes are therefore not exclusive, quite the contrary. They also seem associated with a higher level of satisfaction.”

Glossary
Rare fantasies 
E.g., sex with a child or animal
Unusual fantasies 
E.g., “golden showers,” cross-dressing, sex with a prostitute, abusing an intoxicated person
Typical fantasies 
E.g., sex in a romantic location (female), receiving oral sex, sex with two women (male).
The use of the term ‘shemale’ relates to the terminology used in the literature.