Boomerangst: Turning Dilemmas into Discoveries – Finding Love Again
People of all ages are finding love again. There’s no reason you can’t too, but first you have to make room for someone new – physically and emotionally
Q. I’m 69 and was married until 11 years ago when my wife’s parents died and left her a lot of money and her own house. We still talk but she has no interest in ever being with me again. I do okay living alone, but I’ve become somewhat of a hoarder since I can fix almost anything people bring to me. I haven’t even removed my wife’s things. I go out to dance or play pool and I bike ride in the summer. I’d like to find someone to go traveling with and partner up with, but I’m embarrassed about my living conditions even though I have a nice large house in a middle-class area and have no financial problems. What do I need to do to find a partner to live with?
A. The first thing you need to do is clean up your house and get rid of all your ex-wife’s things. “If your home life is a mess, you’re going to have a love life that’s a mess,” says Julie Spira, the U.S.-based online dating expert and best-selling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating.
I imagine you feel overwhelmed at the thought of trying to tidy up your big house by yourself, so Julie suggests you get serious about it and hire a personal organizer to help get the job done. Once that’s accomplished, you might consider hiring a dating coach. After all, it’s been a long time and this could help get you ready.
“We teach people how to date better and how to make a really great first impression, because if you don’t make a good one there are no second chances.” Coaches like Julie can help give you conversation points to break the ice – things to talk about, as well as things not to talk about (think ex-wives for starters).
“And you’ll read these points and study them, like you’re preparing to pass a test,” she says.