Home Alone for the Christmas holidays?

Christmas inspires us all with images of chestnuts roasting on an open fire, seasonal celebration and festive family warmth – or does it? What does the approach of Christmas inspire in the hearts of the thousands of adults on their own following relationship breakdown or divorce?

At this time of year many who are single again dread being haunted by visions of past family gatherings when they were surrounded by loved ones. Those who are facing their first Christmas alone once more will be dealing with seasonal idealism and social pressure to be part of a family at Christmas – this can powerfully re-inforce the painful realities of relationship breakdown.

However, this Christmas, help is at hand with the launch of Relationship Breakdown – A Survival Guide, by Canadian-born pioneer Christina Basciano, who has returned to her native city of Toronto to become an internationally published and first time author this month after ten years in the United Kingdom.

Christina, with a BA (Hon’s) Psych from York University, Toronto, rose to national media and public acclaim in Britain during 1993 when she founded Single Again, a ground-breaking organization offering suort and advice to millions who had experienced loss of a partner. Within a few years she was featured in hundreds of newspaper and magazine articles, and made over 200 appearances on radio and television in the UK.

Christina, who is now a writer, broadcaster and relationship counsellor in the media, recalled: ‘The weeks leading up to Christmas were always our busiest period at Single Again. Because of family associations, it can be the most painful occasion for anyone who has experienced a break-up and we need to recognize their need for support.’

Relationship Breakdown – A Survival Guide, offers reassuring advice on how to cope with the common stages in the breakdown of a relationship, along with dealing constructively with loneliness, isolation, and relationships with ex-partners, family members and friends – it is the ideal survival guide for anyone facing their first Christmas alone after a break-up.

If you’re ‘home alone’ for the holidays this year, here are some of Christina’s helpful tips:

  • Don’t wait for friends to beat a path to your door- take the initiative in creating festivities and you may find yourself invited out more.

  • Give yourself something to prepare for and look forward to, such as a ‘Boxing Day Left-overs Party’ – people are likely to be more free to drop by on the day.

  • Consider doing some volunteer work, you may find it to be more uplifting.

  • Try to avoid watching too much of the ‘Christmas’ TV which emphasises warm family scenes.