Dating tips from your daughter
Hi Mom. Hi Dad. Fancy meeting you here! Welcome to the party.
I know you probably never in a million years expected to be on a dating site. But I’m here to tell you: Everything’s going to be OK. Actually, we’re here to tell you.
For this feature, I rallied my girls. Together, we came up with about a zillion things we wish we could say to your face. Then I hand-picked the best. Print this, memorize it, stick it to the fridge and please heed our words. Just like
you always wanted the best for us, we want the best for you.
1. We do not want to find you in da club
Even if you’re suddenly single, you’re not suddenly demoted to student status all over again. You’ve got the polish, sophistication and maturity age brings. You have depth, taste and expensive clothes. You should not, for Heaven’s sake, be doing body shots in a Cancun bar.
“Don’t try and fit in with the younger crowd,” advises 26-year-old April. “Use your experience and maturity to your advantage.”
2. Keep your dirty laundry to yourself
You wouldn’t show up to a first date stark naked, would you? So why would you post your deepest, darkest secrets on your Web profile or confess them in a bar on a first date?
We appreciate the confessional compulsion and the many needs that inspire it: You’re trying to provide full disclosure up front. You’re lonely and need a shoulder to cry on. But just as you wait a few months before parading your cellulite
around under the fluorescents, you should wait till you really trust someone before exposing your soul.
3. Hang on to those old-school manners
Kids these days have no idea how to treat each other. Please, don’t follow our example.
If you are a woman who knows how to cook a great meal and serve it in sexy lingerie, or a man who always opens doors and buys flowers… well, you’ll have more dates than you can program into your Blackberry. Maybe your ex stopped appreciating it but all us single folks will love it. We might even learn a thing or two from you.
“When I am with a man, I cook for him, clean for him, dance for him…” my 40-something friend Sheila once said, smiling mysteriously as I gaped in horror. She was separated less than three months before a fantastic man — also
recently separated — went on one date with her, declared her the love of his life, and took her off the dating market for good.
4. Have a fling with someone younger. (Ladies, this tip is for you)
“Younger men all have at least one fantasy that involves an ‘older woman…’ so why shouldn’t you be the one? Take control and be a teacher — your experience and confidence will lead the way.”
This tip comes to us from the lovely ladies of Diamond PR, who are all in their mid-20s, but all wise beyond their years. And it is true, true, true. For proof, just ask any man you know.
5. If you want to get serious, stay within a 12-year age range
This one, if we’re being honest, goes out mainly to the gents — in particular, those benighted souls who believe they have a “special connection” with Sofia the 25-year-old Swedish masseuse. Take it from someone who knows
Sofia very well. A 20-something girl only dates a way-older man for a few reasons:
– Daddy issues
– She’s experimenting
If it’s the money thing, then she’ll either grow out of it or she’s a gold-digger who will stake a claim on 50 per cent of your fortune. If it’s daddy issues, then she’ll grow out of it, get therapy, go crazy or do some combination of
the three. If it’s experimentation, she’ll grow out of it, or turn into a full-fledged Number 1 in time.
Either way, she’ll have too much energy for you, and your conversation will often go right over her head. Your friends won’t be comfortable around her. Oh, and she’ll always find sex with you to be a bit… odd. Sorry. Only being honest.
To avoid this, simply date someone who’s more-or-less in the same generation as you. If you can reference at least a few of the same TV shows and musicians, you’re in good shape.
6. If you married the first time for love, the second time should be for money
“Love can only get you so far, but money and companionship will make a great retirement.” This one comes from our friend Kara, but we’ve said it ourselves a time or two. And it is brutal — but we think it has a lot of merit. If love couldn’t keep your first marriage together, then what makes you think it’ll be different the second time?
Financial security, compatibility, common sense and comfort can sustain a partnership when fireworks disappear. And frankly, fireworks are going to tire you out. Fast.
7. Be a prude if you feel like it
Presumably you have had sex several thousand times in your life. That doesn’t mean you’re obligated to make the count several-thousand-and-one. Seriously.
“Just because you’re both consenting adults doesn’t mean you should put out on every date, especially if you’re not really into it,” says 32-year-old Jenna. “Also, if PDAs (public displays of affection) ain’t your thang, especially when you’re just getting to know each other, make the other person aware of it.”
8. Think you’re post-menopausal? Don’t count on it
“Women over 45 still need contraception to prevent pregnancy — unless they haven’t had a period for more than two years,” says Amy, a 33-year-old nutritionist who regularly writes for fitness glossies. True, an unexpected pregnancy is rare in the 45-plus age bracket. But why take the risk?
9. Use protection
Even if you’re 102 years old, as long as you’re having casual sex, you should use protection. Teenagers aren’t the only ones who are stupid and promiscuous these days — I’ve met plenty of 45-year-olds who could give any high schooler
a run for their money.
Oh, and if you’re not exactly sure whether the relationship is casual, ASK. Assume nothing.
Got that? Phew. I’m glad we’ve had this talk. Now, go knock their socks off! (You look great. Your hair is NOT thinning.) We can’t wait to hear about it later.
Article courtesy of Click by Lavalife.
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