You Know You’re Getting Old When …

A list of the top telltale signs you’re getting old appeared in the London Telegraph recently, but most, like “drinking sherry” and “watching The Archers,” weren’t relevant to Canadians. As with our climate and culture, Canadians share unique ways of doings things, including aging.

So here’s a list of 30 top telltale Canadian signs you’re getting old.

1 You remember when Bob Rae looked boyish.

2 The only waxing you get is for your car.

3 You watch PBS.

4 Joints are what you take pills for, not what you smoke.

5 You’re engrossed with reading health studies.

6 The main reason you bought an e-reader is so you can adjust the font.

7 You no longer step on the brake when you see a police car because you’re no longer speeding.

8 Reading obituaries.

9 Your favourite James Bond is still Sean Connery.

10 You remember when Peter Mansbridge had hair.

11 You use sunscreen on your hands.

12 Listening to classics, rock or otherwise, on the radio.

13 Your idea of a great vacation is no longer camping in Algonquin; it’s a bike tour through Tuscany.

14 You remember when the Jays won the World Series (and are crossing your fingers for this season).

15 You think Mumford & Sons must be a moving company.

16 Thinking Viking Death March is a documentary on the History channel.

17 You know who Knowlton Nash is.

18 Instead of knocking back four beers, you sip a couple of glasses of really good red wine – for the health benefits, of course.

19 You grow vegetables.

20 You borrow books from the library.

21 Your ear lobes are getting longer.

22 Your swimsuits are getting longer.

23 You shopped at Eaton’s.

24 You have at least one newspaper a week delivered to your home.

25 You have friends who have been married for 30 years or more.

26 You turn off your devices during conversations with other people.

27 Seeing the name Trudeau makes you think of Pierre.

28 Saying “So young,” when you learn about somebody dying in their 70s.

29 Thinking it’s wonderful, not weird, when you hear about people over 60 who get married.

30  You know Diefenbaker doesn’t refer to the maker of a European-style rye.


If you answered yes to 25 or more, you’re leading the Zoomers.

If you answered yes to 15 or more,  you’re Zooming into your prime.

If you answered no to 16 or more, your Zoomer credentials may be in question.

If you answered no to 25 or more, your Zoomer years are ahead – or you need to get with the program.