Top Telltale Canadian Signs You’re Getting Old

A list of the top telltale signs you’re getting old appeared in the London Telegraph recently, but most, like “drinking sherry” and “watching The Archers,” weren’t relevant to Canadians.

So here’s my list of top telltale Canadian signs you’re getting old.

1. Remembering when Bob Rae looked boyish

2. The only waxing you get is for your car

3. Watching PBS

4. Joints are what you take pills for, not what you smoke

5. Reading health studies

6. The main reasons you bought an e-reader is so you can adjust the font

7. No longer step on the brake when you see a police car because you’re no longer speeding

8. Reading obituaries

9. Listening to classics, rock or otherwise, on the radio

10. Your idea of a great vacation is no longer camping in Algonquin; it’s a bike tour through Tuscany

11. Instead of knocking back four beers, you sip a couple of glasses of really good red wine – for the health benefits, of course.

12. Your favourite James Bond is still Sean Connery

13. Think Mumford & Sons must be a moving company

14. Remembering when the Jays won the World Series (and crossing your fingers for this season).

15. Thinking Viking Death March is a documentary on the History channel

16. Use sunscreen on your hands

17. Remembering when Peter Mansbridge had hair

18. Knowing who Knowlton Nash is

19. Growing vegetables

20. You shopped at Eaton’s

21. You borrowed books from the library

22. Your ear lobes are getting longer

23. Your swimsuits are getting longer

24. Having at least one newspaper a week delivered to your home

25. You have friends who have been married for 30 years or more

26. Turning off your devices during conversations with other people

27. Seeing the name Trudeau, and thinking of Pierre

28. Saying “So young,” when you learn about somebody dying in their 70s

29. Thinking it’s wonderful, not weird, when you hear about people over 60 who get married