American Woman, What You Doin’ To Me?

First there was cross-border shopping. Now there’s cross-border cuddling.

Portland, Oregon professional cuddler Samantha Hess has opened a shop, Cuddle Up To Me, where for $60 an hour, customers can spoon with Hess or assume a snuggling position of their choice, get their hair stroked and hold hands.

Don’t snicker. There’s no nudity or sex allowed.

“What about ‘natural reactions’?” is one of the questions on her website FAQ.

The answer: “This will happen from time to time. When these things come about we just change positions so that it does not become a focus of the session. I make a great ‘big spoon.’ “

Business is brisk, Hess told The Independent, though that’s not a word that usually applies to cuddling.

Among her clients are British Columbians who may think twice before they tell U.S. Border Security personnel the purpose of their visit.

“After meeting Samantha Hess, I feel so much better,” said Steve from Vancouver in a testimonial on the Cuddle Up To Me Me website.

“Our cuddle time gave me a different outlook on life. I had no idea what I was missing. I am a big fan now and look forward to our next session.”

Hess went to people’s homes to cuddle them before opening her shop.

“I was at a place where I thought paying someone to hug me and not have ulterior motives sounded like a great idea,” she told The Independent. “I decided why can’t this be a thing that we can easily and safely reach for?”

Sessions are taped, talking is optional, pajamas including shorts are acceptable but tips are not accepted.

A no-cost meet n’ greet session must be scheduled before the first cuddle appointment.

And to think that some of us actually have to sit at a computer to earn money.