15 Things Every Boomer Needs to Realize in 2015

In a list in elitedaily.com of “100 things every 20-something needs to realize in 2015,” many items are, unsurprisingly, not relevant to 50-somethings and older boomers.

For example, number 9:

“If you keep sending nude pics, there’ll be no reason to want to see you naked in person.”

So here is a list that is relevant, with “15 things every 50-something and older boomer needs to realize in 2015”:

1. Instant gratification no longer has negative connotations. It is a necessity.

2. You will never write a screenplay turned into a movie starring Jennifer Lawrence, you will never publish a novel or memoir that will make you wealthy and famous, you will never be on the cover of Vanity Fair. Likely, you won’t even get an agent.

3. Nobody will ask you for proof that you qualify for a discount due to age.

4. The only diet that will work is the one you give your dog or cat — controlled portions of healthy, plain food and only water to drink, with the occasional treat, for the rest of your life.

5. The person in the mirror is you.

6. Bucket lists bring more stress than motivation and many places on your list are disappointing tourist traps.

7. Just because a boomer you know or hear about takes up snowboarding doesn’t mean you also have to try to be a gray on a tray. Ditto for ballet. Curling is plausible.

8. Dentists are your friends even if they chew up your pension cheques.

9. Nobody cares if you show up at the gym in baggy clothes.

10. Justin Trudeau’s age has nothing to do with his competence.

11. The people you knew from way back who now look so old to you? You look old to them, too.

12. The person who was crazy about you in high school or university doesn’t necessarily want to hear from you on social media.

13. There is no place to hide.

14. A haircut, like undergarments, can only do so much.

15. Sunglasses are not a solution.