George Clooney: I Take Thee, Brad…

Why the eternal bachelor prefers friends — and dogs — to wives!

By Nelson Branco

In recent months, the biggest cliffhanger in Hollywood hasn’t been whether or not the butler did it but will latest Mrs. George Clooney hopeful, professional wrestler and actress Stacy Keibler, finally make the classic film star an honest man?

Don’t count on it. Even before the couple’s recent breakup, Zoomer sat down with the candid and impossibly handsome silver-haired 50-year-old bachelor, who relayed he’s too weary to crawl down the aisle.

But don’t fret: Master Clooney has something more gratifying than a wedding ring.

“Friends,” he says, with that relentless sexy smile.

“One of my most beautiful friendships is coincidently with one of the prettiest men on the planet,” he offers. “You may have heard of him: Mr. Brad Pitt.”

But seriously, the other thing that keeps Clooney fulfilled — and warm at night – may surprise you.

Other than his Oscar Award, Clooney enthuses, “My dog. They are the best creatures on the earth. Although I only have one dog —who eats for four, by the way — I try to rescue as many as I can from the pound because despite all they’ve been through they have the most beautiful and resilient spirits. I suggest everyone go to your local pound and rescue a dog. They’re the best in the game.”

Pressing on, Zoomer couldn’t resist but ask: what makes the romantically stubborn Clooney so commitment shy? Well, other than his first failed marriage (to Talia Balsam), Clooney ambiguously points to his psyche as a clue.

“You can probably figure it out through the roles and films I’ve chosen,” he answers coyly. “Even I have never gotten to the bottom of my psyche and issues, so people are really wasting their time if they think they can. All the contradictions and conundrums within me I get to work out on the big screen.