Joke of the day for March 23

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. A day without sunshine is like, night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

5. 42.7 per cent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6. 99 per cent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

7. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

11. Remember half the people you know are below average.

12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

14. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

15. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

17. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

18. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

19. I intend to live forever – so far so good.

20. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

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