Turkey Tales: Wacky American Thanksgiving Celebrations
Lets face it: Americans know how to celebrate a holiday. Take Thanksgiving—in Canada we celebrate in October by stuffing our faces with…er…stuffing, along with turkey and all the other trimmings until we’re so full it’s a struggle to not fall asleep in our pumpkin pie. The highlight for most people is simply the fact that they get a long weekend.
In the U.S., however, Thanksgiving is more of an event than a holiday. It always begins with the president pardoning a turkey or two before millions of their feathered cousins are gobbled down with a side of cranberry sauce but, sometimes, that’s merely the beginning of the silliness the occasion brings out in people.
Major League Eating
Any event sponsored by “the official whiskey of Thanksgiving” is bound to be a classy affair. In 2011, contestants attempted to down a 10 pound roast turkey in 10 minutes at the inaugural Wild Turkey 81 Eating World Championships in New York.
Frozen Bird Bowling
It’s exactly what it sounds like.
Some Americans give thanks for the blessings bestowed upon them by taking a frozen turkey, greasing it up real good and launching it into a collection of plastic bottles.
The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
Ah, the famed Macy’s department store tradition. True, the beloved New York parade, which is broadcast across the country, featuring large balloon animals, revelers and even an appearance by Santa Claus isn’t particularly wacky. However, the parade wasn’t always so jolly and bright. In its first few years, city officials actually opened the doors of the local zoo to the parade organizers and allowed LIVE animals to march through the streets of New York, giving a whole new meaning to the term “concrete jungle.” If you thought traffic in the city was bad already, imagine trying to hail a cab that’s swerving to avoid a rogue elephant. Not to mention the potholes those portly pachyderms leave behind.
Take Your Turkey to the Gym
Instructors at a local Indianapolis gym taught those who brought a frozen turkey in how to utilize it in their Pilates routine.
Why can’t Canadians get into the spirit of combining food with working out? We could play hockey with a can of cranberry sauce, or run a marathon called the Mashed Potato Mile where you’re handed cups filled with thick gravy instead of water by bystanders on the sidelines.