Turning Up the Heat: Inside the Bedroom and Out

By Charlotte Bumstead

Boomers famously came of age at a time when sexual mores were undergoing drastic change. We have come a long way in conquering the taboo obstacles regarding sex. Today, Zoomers are creating a second sexual revolution—one that will forever change the way people view sex and aging.

Shattered are the myths that boomers lack sexual desire. In fact, many studies have suggested the opposite. According to Deborah Nedelman—a clinical psychologist and co-founder of Women Beyond 50—14 per cent of women aged 50-plus experience an increase in their sex drive. Statistics showing increased life expectancy propose the ages of 65 to 75 to be a “golden age” for many women.

Of course, the pursuit of passion is not limited to females. Boomers are becoming new dads at 59. A group of Australian researchers provided a study of nearly 2,800 men ages 75 to 95, finding nearly half of the participants consider sex to be important in their lives.

Therefore, we at Zoomer understand there is a wide audience continuously curious about sex, with an ongoing desire to spice up their sex life. This is why we have gathered the following expert advice for enhancing the quality (and quantity) of your steamy romance.

Schedule Sex Dates
There are numerous factors in our daily activity that can put a damper on our sex lives—health being one of major influence. But our regular routine can also have an effect. Joan Price, author of Better Than I Ever Expected, says, “Even though [people] think of us as aging, we are very busy—we’re as busy as we’ve been at any other time in our life. We often find we don’t have time, and won’t make time, for the kind of leisurely sex that really is good for us at this age.” Set some time aside for sex wherever you can find it. Schedule as much time as you can—make it two hours, or a whole afternoon—to fully enjoy the pleasure of passion and spare yourself from usual stresses.

Indulge in Erotic Literature
Try some bedtime reading that is not meant to put you asleep. Read erotic novels to each other to elevate your mood. Or purchase some sexual self-help books and take turns with you partner, highlighting the activities you are willing to try. You might be surprised with what you find and this could lead you to developing some new fantasies of your own. Don’t be afraid to share your fantasies. “You don’t even have to do it,” says Price, on acting out your imagination. “Let’s face it; often fantasy is better than the reality when you try it. But sharing the fantasy—that can be hot.”

Adjust Your Attitude
Approach sex with a sense of playfulness; make it fun. Good Vibrations Education Program Manager Charlie Glickman says, “It’s amazing to me how serious people are about sex. I do think it’s something to take seriously in the sense that it’s important. But if you don’t come to it with a sense of play and a sense of pleasure, that’s really going to get in your way.” Don’t be afraid to be goofy and experiment without worrying about whether or not it will be a success. Simply having the right attitude can result in new discoveries you may never have considered before.

Be Creative and Courageous
Try a new technique—something slightly different. It could be something completely new or something you used to do that, for whatever reason, you stopped doing. Perhaps something has changed and what didn’t work then could work now. Heat up the bedroom with a strip tease or a lap dance. You don’t have to be a good dancer to remove your clothing while swaying to some sensual music. For some fresh excitement, try a new toy. If you’re too shy to go to a store, there are endless websites where you and your partner can shop online for various thrilling gadgets, as well as sexy lingerie. “Be courageous with who you are and what you want—what would feel good to you now,” says Price. “Show off that beautiful body that still can give you so much pleasure. By all means, enjoy sex.”