Middle age brings inner comfort

Maybe some people learned everything they need to know in kindergarten, but I wasn’t one of them. It’s taken me more than 50 years to know what I know, and it seems every day I forget a bit.

That’s one of the things I don’t like about being over 50-that and losing my train of thought, checking the locks and the stove not once but twice, entering a room looking for one thing and coming out empty handed with not a clue what I was after.

Another thing is middle-age spread. I got on the scale at my doctor’s office and I weighed 146 pounds. Not bad you might think, except for the fact that I’m 5 foot 2, and the last time I weighed 135, I was about to give birth to my first child.

When I told my firstborn, she asked me how I metamorphosed-she’s afraid the same thing will happen to her.

Weight sneaks up
It just sneaks up on you. I remember being a 100-pound bride at 21. After two children and a reporter’s job, which kept me running, I averaged about 125. I don’t remember the how or why of the extra 20-okay, 21-pounds. But I certainly know the where: right around my middle.

Eyesight’s another thing. Recently, I had a problem openi an e-mail attachment. When I called the support line, the customer service person asked for the serial number on the back of my computer. Climbing behind my desk was difficult enough. Finding the serial number was no problem, but I couldn’t get far enough away to read it without my glasses.

Some good things
However, there are some things I like about my age. I have a stable happy relationship now, and I’m smart enough to recognize it. My forties saw me flee an unhappy marriage for a happy living-in-sin relationship. Despite everyone else’s belief I’d lost my mind, I wasn’t worried-I  knew it was right for me. And it was. Middle age is a time for listening to your inner voice.

Since passing 50, I’ve remarried and taken my new husband’s name. I know who I want to spend the rest of my life and I guess, deep down, I do believe in marriage after all.

All grown up
I have my own business and share the work with my husband. I’ve learned I have a good eye for design, and I’m able to connect with clients. I’ve even learned not to cringe when I hand over my bill. For most of my twenties, thirties and early forties, I undervalued my work and my worth.

I believe I’m more tolerant and patient, less self-righteous. I feel like I’ve grown up, but I’ve a way to go before I grow old. My daughter agrees; she gave me a gift certificate for rock climbing. I can’t wait to use it.

Donna D’Amour and her husband, Tony, who is semi-retired, produce industrial and promotional videos. She never expected to be wearing steel-toed boots and a hard hat after 50, but life is far from predictable.