Women over 40 are hot

Turning 40 is a shocker for a lot of women.

Well, crap, they think. I’m OLD. How in the world am I going to compete with
some 26-year-old with perky boobs and no baggage?

You’re not. And it’s not because you can’t, it’s because you don’t need to.

Yes, some men are looking for 26-year-olds. But those are not the men you want
to date. Besides, squeezing yourself into a tube top and stilettos to go hang
out at the local watering hole isn’t going to fool anyone, right? At least not
close up… or before midnight.

And that’s OK.

It’s time to think about the things that really make you attractive.

You know who you are

A woman over 40 is not looking for a man to define who she is. If anything,
the men you date will have to find a way to fit into your life.

Reinvention Expert Ann Fry believes that women over 40 possess a confidence
that is very appealing to men. “I think confidence, independence and accomplishment
are what men find really interesting. Add to the mix that many of us have our
baggage ‘handled’ and are not out to trap them.”

You have your own life

You’re not going to dump all of your friends to hang out with some guy or remake
your life to better match his. You have a career, you have friends, you have
a home and you have stuff to do.

Spa Violet owner Loraine Dale-Hall agrees. “Women over 40 are hot because
we are comfortable in our skin and most of us are OK to be alone. We would never
want to be 21 again — we have made our mistakes, learned from them and now
are rockin’! We have our kids, our careers, our homes and I think our final
and true (be it small) circle of real girlfriends. When we are with someone
it’s not because we need to be, but because we want to be.”

You’re comfortable with sex

This may come as a shock, but women in their 40s have far fewer hang-ups about
sex than their 20-year-old counterparts do. (I know, I know: how many of your
friends have said, ‘I wish I took more pictures of myself in a bikini — I had
no idea how fabulous/skinny/blonde I was back then.’)

There’s a reason that young men fantasize about sex with an older woman. You’re
more adventurous and less likely to worry about your body, about the little
mishaps and noises that happen in bed, and you’re far less likely to give a
crap about what he’ll think of you in the morning, which means you’re more likely
to just let loose and have fun. And there’s nothing sexier than that.

Jim Willett, a personal trainer and VP of Fabs Cyberfitness says, “Society
places way more pressure and scrutiny on the body image of women than it does
men. From my experience with women over 40 who are exercising, the emphasis
begins to shift towards their own health and well-being rather than someone
telling them how they should look.”

He continues: “With this transition comes acceptance and ultimately confidence.
Once you accept who you are, you can begin to like who you are, and that gets
reflected in the way you carry yourself.

“In all the hours I have spent training women,” Willett concludes,
“the ones that seem the most secure, and are not afraid of little things
like making eye contact, are the more mature women. They are not nearly as intimidated
because they have seen it all before.”

You’re secure enough not to waste time with someone who isn’t a good fit. While
younger women spend months or years with inappropriate men, by the time you
hit 40, you’re all done messing around.

You’ve got your childbearing issues pretty much worked out.

At this stage of the game, you either have kids, don’t want them or you’re
working on a husband-free parenting plan. For most men over 40, the fact that
this issue is resolved for you makes you a more appealing candidate for a relationship.

You’ve seen a few things

A woman with more life experience has an easier time putting things in perspective.
You’ve likely known great joy as well as tragedy. If the worst thing that ever
happened to you is a two-year waiting list for a handbag, you’re far more likely
to freak out over the fact that your guy has just been restructured out of a
job or some equally troubling but non-life-threatening occurrence.

Jeane Beiter, style maven and founder of www.worldofbe.com/says, “Women
over 40 have sustained a fair amount of life’s disappointments and challenges.
Over time, they learn to prioritize where things are a big deal and where they
just don’t really matter.”

And you’ve got the whole rest of your life to focus on the things that really
matter.

Dating Expert Lisa Daily is the author of the bestselling dating advice
book, Stop Getting Dumped! and a new novel, Fifteen Minutes of
Shame.

What men say about women over 40

“What makes women over 40 attractive is their lower expectations, wisdom,
relatability, and tolerability of imperfection. They’re not as high-maintenance
as younger women still struggling with the princess syndrome.” — Paul
Davis, Love Coach

“As a 51-year-old man who has done some dating over the past decade, I
can tell you the best thing about dating women over 40 is that you really know
what you’re getting off the bat…or at least by the second date. There’s less
game playing. If the woman is a gold digger, you know it; if she doesn’t like
you, she’ll generally tell you. Some guys may find this difficult, but I’d rather
know what I’m in for right away, rather than have a younger woman “play”
me for a while until the right man comes along.” –Wayne Schaffel, PR firm
president

“Confidence in who you are is always attractive to men who are sure of
themselves. Men who are less sure of themselves seek the ‘trophy’ as opposed
to the brain.” — Mark Amtower, author

Article courtesy of Click by Lavalife.

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